(Copyright (c) 2010 Cynthia Shenette) "God Bless Us Everyone," so says Tiny Tim in Charles Dickens' famous tale, A Christmas Carol. A fitting wrap up to a heart-warming story. Feast and food play an important part in the tale--the giant turkey, the plum pudding, the roast goose. I get the warm tingles just thinking about it. But not in a good way...
I read A Christmas Carol for the very first time in eighth grade English class. Oh, that story made such an impression on me. One of the other English classes, not mine of course, actually got to stage a Dickens-style feast, complete with costumes, in our junior high cafeteria. Why couldn't my class do that? No Salisbury steak, instant mashed potatoes, and gray green beans in the cafeteria that day, but a real honest to goodness Dickens-style feast. I was so jealous.
I must have mentioned my disappointment to my mom. She came up with a brilliant idea. Why couldn't we stage our own Dickens feast right at home? She would make a goose and a couple of the other traditional English dishes for our celebration. Sounds good on paper right?
Well off mom went to the grocery store, but apparently back in the mid-1970s goose was hard to come by in Worcester, MA. No luck on the goose front. She did find a duck though. Mom figured that would be acceptable. I agreed. Mr. Dickens would most heartily approve. So home we went with our duck ready and willing to prepare our feast.
Mom, not knowing anything about duck, decided to prepare the duck the way she usually prepared turkey. This was back in the day when those turkey cooking bags were new to the grocery market. Mom was all for making things easier in the kitchen, so in went the duck, into a cooking bag. Mom also had heard that ducks can be kind of greasy, so she decided to put a trivet underneath the duck, inside the cooking bag so the grease could drip off into the bottom of the pan. Mom tied up the bag, and put the entire bag and it's contents into a pan, and faster than you can say Bleak House, the duck was in the oven. Our Dickens of a feast would be on the table in no time.
There was one fatal flaw in this plan. You knew there had to be one, right? Mom forgot to cut holes in the cooking bag to let steam out. Oops. While the duck was cooking away in the oven I was in the kitchen helping mom to prepare the rest of the meal. All of a sudden boom! An explosion! I looked over to the stove. Through the glass oven door I saw the duck, bag, trivet and all, blow up, hit the top of the oven, and plop back down in the pan! Being the nervous type I went for the kitchen fire extinguisher. Mom, not being the nervous type, told me to put away the fire extinguisher. The duck was fine. I wasn't doing so well.
Later on that evening, we did have our feast. Duck and all. Even after it blew up it turned out fine. I know this may come as a surprise, but we never had duck again. Lesson learned. NEVER forget to cut holes in the cooking bag.
Aah, those warm holiday memories of Christmas Past. Now let me tell you about the time my mom set fire to the turkey...
God Bless Us, Everyone.
9 comments:
Now THAT is a holiday memory!
Great story! I'm sure it's one that gets told over and over. hehe.
Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh.
Best title of the day, if not the year! Hilarious. I'll be giggling all day.
We did have a goose once - or rather didn't have it. Lesson #2 - don't try to smoke a goose when it's 5 degrees outdoors. That was the Christmas of mac & cheese...
Great story!! That is a year that will live forever while all the routine, nothing went wrong years sort of blur together. Thanks for giving me a good chuckle!
What a great memory- and I would have been the first to grab for the fire extinguisher too!
Thank you all for your comments! Yes indeed, that was a memorable year. Funny, I kind of forgot about the turkey fire fifteen years or so later. Writing the exploding duck story triggered the memory. Well, at least I'll have something to write about next year. ;)
Susan, I am intrigued. What happened to the goose? And was the mac and cheese from a box or homemade? Do tell...
And I though having eggs and potatoes explode in our oven was exciting! If I ever did anything like that, my family would never let me live it down.
Greta - Thank you for your comment. Eggs exploding in the oven? I bet that was an ugly mess to clean.
Diana - It kind of occured to me, your right about the exploding duck memory. Most of my memories of our other Christmas meals all blend together. The duck year definately stands out!
Before my comment, I read all the others. I agree with all of them, I mean what more can be said. I only wish I had read it yesterday, I could have been laughing with the others. So good Cindy, thank you. (I just started using those bags a year ago.)
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