Showing posts with label Meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Meditation. Show all posts

Meditation: The Strength of Ordinary Women

(Digital Image. Photograph Privately Held By Cynthia Shenette. Text Copyright (c) 2010 Cynthia Shenette) 

I can't count any female innovators among my ancestors. I don't have any female doctors, lawyers, pilots, suffragettes, inventors, abolitionists, or famous sports figures in my family. There are no female famous firsts. With the exception of a royal connection several generations back, most of the women in my family were wives and mothers, peasants, immigrants, and well, ordinary. They were women typical of their time, kind of like me. 

I am constantly impressed with these "ordinary" women, the decisions they made, and the lives they led, given their sometimes limited circumstances. I am lucky to live today and not in the past. My female ancestors, struggled against illness and death, war, political strife, poor nutrition, and economic difficulties, often with little or no education. They persevered. Their hard work, persistence, good health, and in some cases good luck, paved the way for me to have a better life.

How is my life better than the lives of my ancestors? I have access to education, good health care, and better food. I have the ability to vote. I have the freedom to marry the man of my choice, not someone chosen for me or forced upon me by circumstances beyond my control. I have the opportunity to work in a professional career and the ability to achieve financial independence, if I want to. I have modern conveniences. I live without fear, political oppression, and war in my homeland. Many of my female ancestors did not.

Take for instance my great-grandmother Ewa (Kowalewska) Bulak. In 1897 Ewa boarded a ship in Bremen and traveled to meet her husband Antoni in America. She arrived at Ellis Island with her two daughters in hand and five dollars in her pocket. Up until that time Ewa had probably never ventured outside of her small village in Lomza province. How difficult was life in the old country that immigrating to the U.S. was the best option for the family? What kind of courage did it take for Ewa to travel beyond her village, across the Atlantic, and leave everything and everyone, including her mother, behind? I'm thankful that Ewa brought my grandmother to America. While life in the U.S wasn't always easy, the family left in Poland didn't fare nearly as well given the political situation with Russia, two major wars, and a constant struggle against poverty. Ewa set her fears aside and made the decision to follow her husband to America to embark on a new life, hopefully a better life, for her and her children.

Throughout history mothers have sacrificed for their children. My grandfather, Adolf Szerejko, came to this county in 1913 from Warsaw, Poland. He was 18 years old. According to the family story, he sat down at breakfast one morning and his mother, Jozefa, and their father told him that they had made arrangements for Adolf and his older brother Aleksander to escape from what was then Russian Poland and to travel to the United States. The brothers left Warsaw that night, jumped the border, and made their way to Holland where they caught a ship to America. If they didn't leave when they did Adolf and Aleksander would have been conscripted into the Russian army just in time to fight in the First World War and possibly the Russian Revolution. When the Russians took their older brother, Wincenty, he disappeared into Russia and the family never saw him again. Jozefa probably knew that she would never see Adolf and Aleksander again, but it was more important to protect them than to keep them with her in Poland. What a difficult decision that must have been.

For hundreds of years mothers sacrificed their lives just giving birth. In the late nineteenth century and the early twentieth century America maternal mortality was still high, despite better nutrition and living conditions. Around 1900 out of every 1,000 live births, 200 children died before the age of five. 


A couple of years ago I stumbled upon the burial record for two ancestors I had never heard of--sisters Alena and Sophia Bulak--my grandmother's first cousins. Alena died on September 4, 1908. She was five months and three days old. Her death record states that she died of meningitis. What probably started out as strep infection or virus developed into meningitis or some kind of swelling of the brain. Today, that illness would probably be treatable. Alena's sister, Sophia, died on July 4, 1909, less than a year after Alena. Sophia was one month, 17 days old. The primary cause of death listed on the death certificate was bronchitis, with a contributing cause as cholera infantum. How sad, two babies born to the same mother dying less than a year of one another, and both dying of illnesses that could probably be prevented today. Where did their mother Maryanna find the strength to handle the loss of two infants in less than one years time? Despite her losses, Maryanna put aside her grief went on to have more children and live to the ripe old age of 94. Even though she had other children, I'm sure that she never forgot those two little girls whose lives ended before they had a chance to really begin.

For my grandmother's family and my grandfather's family back in Poland, life was difficult. Two world wars and the stress of the Soviet occupation took their toll. Even though we live in a time of political unrest, thankfully, war has not been fought on American soil since the 1865. Much of my grandparents' family lived in Poland during World War II. Some of the family survived the war. Some didn't. I have a photo of my grandfather's cousin, Celina Gzell, taken in Warsaw in 1943. I've often looked at the photo and wondered what her life was like. What was she thinking about at that moment in time when the photo was taken? I see Celina standing on a Warsaw street holding her three-year-old son's hand. In the background there is a man who appears to be a German soldier in uniform. What was her life like during the war? What were her fears, for herself and for her son? Celina and her son survived the war, but her parents did not. I am grateful that I live where and when I do.

I admire all the women, all the mothers and grandmothers in my family. They were women who made tough decisions and lived their lives to the best of their ability despite trying times and circumstances. I admire their courage and ability to persevere and to be the best mothers they could be for their children. Women like Ewa, Jozefa, Maryanna, and Celina were by most standards, "ordinary" women. They weren't doctors, lawyers, or suffragettes. Their names won't be found in a list of who's who. When I get aggravated because I'm stuck in traffic or because I have to stand in a long line at the pharmacy, I try to put things in perspective. My life is easy compared to theirs. When I think about their lives, I like to think I too would have the grace, dignity, and courage to do what they did. I don't know if I would, but I'd like to think so. By remembering our "ordinary" women we honor them. It's our way of saying thank you. 


Thanks ladies.


Named Persons: 

Alena Bulak (1 Apr 1908-4 Sep 1908)
Antoni Bulak (1868-19 Feb 1940)
Ewa (Kowalewska) Bulak (1873-20 Mar 1924)
Maryanna (Bialobrzywska) Bulak (1867-26 Dec 1961)
Sophia Bulak (20 May 1909-4 Jul 1909)
Celina (Szerejko) Gzell (Abt. 1911-Aft. 1978)
Adolf S. Szerejko (11 Apr 1895-19 Dec 1959)
Aleksander D. Szerejko (11 Nov 1892-21 Jul 1962)
Jozefa (Bielska) Szerejko (1867-1920)
Wincenty Szerejko (Abt. 1890-Aft. 1931)


Photograph: 

Celina (Szerejko) Gzell and son. Warsaw, 1943. Author's private collection. 


References:

Maine, Deborah, and Katrina Stamas. "Maternal Mortality." Encyclopedia of Population. Ed. Paul Demeny and Geoffrey McNicoll. Vol. 2. New York: Macmillan Reference USA, 2003. 628-631. Gale Virtual Reference Library. Web. 19 May 2010.

Pebley, Anne R. "Infant and Child Mortality." Encyclopedia of Population. Ed. Paul Demeny and Geoffrey McNicoll. Vol 2. New York: Macmillan Reference USA, 2003. 533-536. Gale Virtual Reference Library. Web. 19 May 2010.


Submitted for the 94th edition of the Carnival of Genealogy.

Meditation: Family History

I am my mother, my grandmother, and my great-grandmother. Who they were is part of me. And for better or worse who they were will be part of my son as well. As a parent of a young child I hear my mother's words (or worse yet, my grandmother's words) come out of my mouth on a regular basis. Even though all of my immediate family--mother, father, grandparents--have passed, I feel like I still live with them on a daily basis.

Wikipedia defines genealogy as, "...the study of families and the tracing of their lineages through history. " and family history as, "...the systematic narrative and research of past events relating to a specific family or specific families." While I am interested in names and dates like most genealogists, I am particularly interested in who people were, how they lived, and what were their lives like. In short, I want to know why my ancestors did what they did and how they became the people they became.

My research will never answer all of my questions. I know I'll never know how my great-grandmother felt about getting on a ship with a two-year-old and a four-year-old and five dollars in her pocket to join her husband in America, only to leave everyone and everything she knew behind in Poland. As the mother of a small child, the thought of doing what she did seems daunting to me. Through my research I have learned a little about her experience--where she came from, what ship she traveled on, who her family was, and a little about her life in America. My great-grandmother is just one interesting person among the dozens of interesting people I have researched. I truly believe all people are interesting. Their lives and life circumstances are interesting. The pieces of their lives are like pieces of a puzzle put together over time. Sometimes you find a piece, sometimes you lose a piece, and after a while things finally come together.

Unfortunately, I started genealogy too late to ask my grandmother and other relatives the questions I wish I had asked while they were alive. I've used my skills as a genealogist and a librarian to put together the pieces of my puzzle. My goal is to use this blog to share what I have learned and contribute in some small way to others' research, to share tips and techniques that have worked for me, and as a place to organize information.
Comment as you see fit, but please be kind.

***


Photograph:
Left to right Helen Bulak, Eva (Kowalewski) Bulak, Antonina (Bulak) Szerejko, Worcester, MA, 1902. Author's private collection.